Insomnia - The Cause of Many Sleepless Nights

Another sleepless night again. I've tried everything, I dim the lights 30 minutes before bed. I drink warm milk, and relaxing tea. I avoid eating and physical activity before bed. It doesn't seem to matter, this insomnia seems unbeatable at times. I'm tired, I crawl in bed and pull the covers over me, but sleep never seems to come. I just lay awake, thinking, wishing I could sleep, constantly glancing at the clock watching night advance into morning. I've seen doctors, gone through sleep studies, I'm just at a loss.

  I think I'm going to try to turn to natural cures, maybe some herbs and other non-traditional teas might help. I've had over-the-counter and prescription medications, but nothing really seems to work well for me. I'm going to look around and maybe see if I can talk to some other people that have insomnia like I do, maybe some internet forums or chat rooms. I hope there is something out there that can help, because this is definitely the cause of many sleepless nights.

Good Enough

Good enough for your eyes to look upon
Good enough for your soul to dwell inside
Washing over dream after dream
Everything inside no longer unseen

Good enough to walk in your shadow
Good enough to walk in your shoes
The darkness battling with your light
Will we be doomed to repeat your plight?

Will we be good enough
Will I be good enough
To know your endless sight
To fight your endless fight

Sometimes you simply understand what no one else can. Sometimes you feel what no one else can feel. Sometimes you fall, and you keep falling while everyone looks on as you pass them by. Sometimes you simply stop caring what everyone else cares, what anyone else expects of you, and you simple live up to you own emotions, to your own thoughts, to your own dreams.

In this moment, you grow angel wings and fall farther down into the depths of your own soul you become lost inside another. Knots unravel, the threads of life weave themselves into a thousand blankets covering your shivering soul.

You search for an eternity, only to find what you were looking for wrapped up in a single moment. Eyes' gaze upon each other, and two souls scream to be let loose. Words wrap each other in a million rays of color, hands tracing the outline of every shadow known to man.

All the puzzle pieces begin to fit together, and for the first time in eternity, you can see what the picture is meant to be. Choices fade and give in to the tides of fate, and you drift endlessly in the arms of who you are meant to find.

A bond forming to tightly, all is excepted and all is rejected, save for the moments we live in. No longer concerned with past, present, or future, we live inside each other in a place where time ceases it's endless function of aging our happiness to death.

Should I have to die, if I were taking this with me to the grave, my soul would be fulfilled, inside the heart, mind, soul, and body of another.

It is the defintion of love.

Darkness Incarnate

Demons cluttering the shadows of my mind
Emptying the sands of time into my eyes
Demons casting dark spells
Into the soul of my flowing waters

Spells casting down from the realms of darkness
From the abyss of despair calling to me
I can feel the blades of darkness grazing my face
I can feel the blood in my veins simmering

My heart pumps the blood slowly through my body
My feet rest in the earth's graves
I close my eyes, feeling the burning tears sear my cheeks
I raise my head and scream in my mind

I open my fists, pulling burning fire from heaven to earth
I open my eyes, pouring forth drowning waters
I move slowly, feeling hurricanes building in my soul
I can feel my senses scarring from the power in my veins

Demons cluttering around
Their vile screams piercing my skull
Their putrid thoughts offending my mind
Their disgusting stench slaughtered by the fire in my hands

I can feel the war waging around me
In the earth
In the heavens
In the pits below

I can see wings falling as feathers
I can hear the destruction around me
Soon it will end
Soon it will all be silences

I open my mouth in screams of anger
And feel the fiery waters pour forth into the land
I can feel the waters rising above my head
And I look upwards towards glistening light

As I close my eyes
And relax my fists
The earth covers me over
And the darkness begins to incinerate my flesh

As I become one with the shadow
I become one with the earth
I feel the demons become a shadow of the past
Not to rise again

Until another day befalls the unwary

Lost

Have you ever been traveling in a car, and all of a sudden you realize you don't know where you are? You try and recognize the surroundings, but nothing looks familiar. You look behind you, and you don't really understand how you got where you are. You turn around, but there are so many paths that could have led you to where you are now, you don't know how to get back on track.

So you pull over and stop, and you look around to see if you have a map. You not only have a map, you have two maps. Each one shows you where you are, and each one shows you your destination. But each map has different ways of getting there.

What would seem simple enough, would be to just pick one and go with it.

The first one shows the shortest route, but has a very dangerous bridge that you have to cross to go that way. Once the bridge is crossed, the road is very narrow, and if you need to stop, turn around, and come back the other way it would be very difficult.

The other shows a lot longer route to the same destination. The road is just as hard to navigate, and there are many distractions. This route could take hours, even days more to reach the same destination. And every couple of miles, there is a toll, where you have to pay.

You have to choose one or the other. But will you have enough money to pay all the tolls? Will you make it across the bridge? Will you have enough gas to turn around if need be?

And the other great thing is... you may already be on the shorter route with the dangerous bridge, but there are no street signs, no one will give you directions, and your compass isn't working. You are lost inside ambiguity. You ask for help, yet nothing.

Where Am I?

Shadow Drifter

Sinking into the shadows
Cold steel pressed against my body
Keeping my secrets inside
Keeping my soul from harm

I can feel you around me
Pushing me on
The wind blows the empty trees
And my soul is carried onward

I can see the shadows moving against the light
The glass is starting to crack
As the ground moves under my feet
Until my feet no longer touch the eart

Cold steel pressing into my hand
The moonlight opens paths never before seen
My body moves as water
Carried upwards on the currents of motion

Shattering sounds all around me
Lights trying to survive against the darkness
I can feel your soul
I can feel you inside my head

Shattering steel brings relief
to my tortured soul
As the light fades
Your eyes tell the tale

Of one who walks the shadow's endless line
The line to life
The line of death
Shadow Drifter

Chemistry

I think we have an emergency
I can feel you inside of me
I think there's everything at stake
You've become the only one I can see

Everything else seems fake
And I'm loosing control
Into the gray
I'm losing my soul

I'm not sure what I can say
To make you see what is inside my head
I'm always inside I waking dream
Where rivers are everything I've never said

Nothing is what it seems
All I can feel is our chemical reaction
I'm loosing all my grip
I'm loosing all my traction
I'm living inside a dream
I'm loosing my grip
All I can feel is your chemicals inside my blood stream
And I'm lost inside this dream
Where nothing is what it seems
Except you and me
Caught together
Forever we are free
In a world full of our chemistry