My eyes close
Darkness slips around me
My mind opens
Everything takes form
As I walk through the shadows of my mind
The imprints left by my feet fade in silence
Every corner is deafening darkness
Evil scours the skies
I make my way to the sea
So dark, so blue, with neverending depth
The waves forever changing shape
The winds forever blowing
Rivers branch fast, covering the shore
Sand is eaten away by aproaching waters
My feet sink away into the deepening blue
My body is taken by the sea into the neverending currents
Underneathe the starry nights
Under the fading lights
Peoples faces fade
The dead come back to life
Legions seeking my soul
Storms come to aid my survival
The oceans current swallows me whole
Carrying me into the blackened depths
Past and Present have come to do battle
Light and Darkness clash
Wars being fought on the surface
The sounds of mortar and flashes of destruction crawling closer
The sea swells with rage
Swallowing the earth
Until nothing is left
Except my soul
Floating forever, in the depths of the neverending blue
of the calm_sea.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Talk Done. Still no time.......
Well, I finally got my talk out of the way this sunday. It went ok I guess. Everyone said I did a good job. They always say that.
I was thankful some friends came down to hear it. i always appreciate the extra support. Even if four of the bald heads sat in the slam front row. :) Yes, that's you Winn family :)
Few extras I didn't expect to see came too. That was nice. Out of everything I heard, the thing that went to my soul the most was a Sister in my bookstudy told me how much my talked helped her because she has the tendency to be indecisive. And she named off the three points that i talked about and how she was going to apply them. Out of everything, that made me feel the best. I've always felt a talk is trash if no one learns anything from it, even if it is the most entertaining in the world. If one person leaves with something that helped them, then I feel I accomplished my goal. So I'm happy.
However, I fooled myself. I thought "If I just get this talk out of the way, I can get some TIME. I can get back to LIFE." Nope. This same week, I have a 20 minute service meeting part. Next week is the CO's visit, so I have meetings Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The one on Friday is going to piss me off, because I know some people are going to complain about nonsense so they can get coddled and make everyone painfully sit through it until 8 or 9 at night.
The next week, I have a #1 talk. Week after that, another service meeting part. Week after that, HBR. It doesn't end. I have to draw the line somewhere. I don't even get 8 hours sleep at night. Much less make my pioneering time. I'm going to have to come off the list. I cannot keep this up. The service I do get, is like "Service so I can get my time service". My joy is GONE. It's become a burden, not a joy. It's not supposed to be this way. It used to be so fun. Now it's a chore, something I have to schedule in.
I sat down last night and wrote all the things I have to take care off on a weekly basis. Guess how much free time I have? Around 6 hours or so a week. That doesn't take into account less important things, like EATING, grocery shopping, SHOWERING, or using the bathroom. Of course, I didn't account for the fact I only get 6 hours of sleep a night.
Then I get to sleep in at Cliff's (Thanks Cliff) Monday, and the BRATwurst who's there is insistent on getting up, making NOISE so no one else can sleep at 9am. So nope, no sleep. I have to take a vacation. Get away, BY MYSELF. A good solid week. No one to worry about, no one to coddle, no phone calls at 7am seeing if I want to 'make a long day in service', or at 10pm at night wondering how a job is going AT WORK. I've got to GET OUT.
So this 20 minute part tonight? It will suck. Anyone want to say anything about it? Well, then don't give them to me anymore. Yep, it's a bad attitude. But I had half a mind to call my PO and tell him to get someone else to do it because I got in at 8:30pm and hadn't looked at the part yet. I'm so SICK OF THIS. Sick of work, sick of having NO TIME WHATSOEVER.
So what will give?
I was thankful some friends came down to hear it. i always appreciate the extra support. Even if four of the bald heads sat in the slam front row. :) Yes, that's you Winn family :)
Few extras I didn't expect to see came too. That was nice. Out of everything I heard, the thing that went to my soul the most was a Sister in my bookstudy told me how much my talked helped her because she has the tendency to be indecisive. And she named off the three points that i talked about and how she was going to apply them. Out of everything, that made me feel the best. I've always felt a talk is trash if no one learns anything from it, even if it is the most entertaining in the world. If one person leaves with something that helped them, then I feel I accomplished my goal. So I'm happy.
However, I fooled myself. I thought "If I just get this talk out of the way, I can get some TIME. I can get back to LIFE." Nope. This same week, I have a 20 minute service meeting part. Next week is the CO's visit, so I have meetings Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The one on Friday is going to piss me off, because I know some people are going to complain about nonsense so they can get coddled and make everyone painfully sit through it until 8 or 9 at night.
The next week, I have a #1 talk. Week after that, another service meeting part. Week after that, HBR. It doesn't end. I have to draw the line somewhere. I don't even get 8 hours sleep at night. Much less make my pioneering time. I'm going to have to come off the list. I cannot keep this up. The service I do get, is like "Service so I can get my time service". My joy is GONE. It's become a burden, not a joy. It's not supposed to be this way. It used to be so fun. Now it's a chore, something I have to schedule in.
I sat down last night and wrote all the things I have to take care off on a weekly basis. Guess how much free time I have? Around 6 hours or so a week. That doesn't take into account less important things, like EATING, grocery shopping, SHOWERING, or using the bathroom. Of course, I didn't account for the fact I only get 6 hours of sleep a night.
Then I get to sleep in at Cliff's (Thanks Cliff) Monday, and the BRATwurst who's there is insistent on getting up, making NOISE so no one else can sleep at 9am. So nope, no sleep. I have to take a vacation. Get away, BY MYSELF. A good solid week. No one to worry about, no one to coddle, no phone calls at 7am seeing if I want to 'make a long day in service', or at 10pm at night wondering how a job is going AT WORK. I've got to GET OUT.
So this 20 minute part tonight? It will suck. Anyone want to say anything about it? Well, then don't give them to me anymore. Yep, it's a bad attitude. But I had half a mind to call my PO and tell him to get someone else to do it because I got in at 8:30pm and hadn't looked at the part yet. I'm so SICK OF THIS. Sick of work, sick of having NO TIME WHATSOEVER.
So what will give?
Friday, May 18, 2007
Franklin = Depression
I think I might be depressed. Maybe border line? Who knows.
Most people characterize 'depression' with being sulky, sad, gloomy, sorrow-filled. Not I. I beat the absolute STUFFING out of my punching bag the other night. My left shoulder still hurts. I may have pulled something.
My boss is not helping. I have a looney tune customer that calls 2-3 times a day demanding to know where his tile is, and why installers are not out at his house from 6am to 6pm Monday through Sunday. I have explained before the job was signed that they put in 8 hour days, 5 days a week. He was fine with this, then.
Well, finally, he came in and gave me a tongue lashing to my boss because I don't call him 3 times a day, and that I have a serious communication issue. Once he left, I started to tell my boss that he was full of crap, I call and email him all the time. My bosses reply? "I don't care about that." So I couldn't defend myself. It's just "lets take the looney customer's word over your loyal employee who's been here for 50-60 hours a week for THREE YEARS. Yeah. As soon as I was done with him, I went and updated my monster.com resume. JERK.
The meeting last night, too. There's a brother who gets up and gives service meeting parts, and makes a FOOL out of the meeting. I think he doesn't even know he does it. Like he asked a sister to read a scripture, and then asks her to "guess at which verse I'm thinking of". This isn't a game, you IDIOT. If you can't get that through your 4 inch THICK skull and peanut sized brain, you shouldn't really be up there. Whatever. It fits Franklin.
Actually, I'd be shocked if they did do something about it. I mean, this is the place that took them 10 years to pave the main road with foot-deep pot holes. The clencher? Thats the road the VDOT office is on. Heck, took them 4 years to pave my neighborhood from having 3 dirt roads and 3 semi-paved roads. And once they paved it, they have paved no less than once per year. To the point where it's a FOOT THICK in some places.
It's franklin. Franklin = Depression.
Most people characterize 'depression' with being sulky, sad, gloomy, sorrow-filled. Not I. I beat the absolute STUFFING out of my punching bag the other night. My left shoulder still hurts. I may have pulled something.
My boss is not helping. I have a looney tune customer that calls 2-3 times a day demanding to know where his tile is, and why installers are not out at his house from 6am to 6pm Monday through Sunday. I have explained before the job was signed that they put in 8 hour days, 5 days a week. He was fine with this, then.
Well, finally, he came in and gave me a tongue lashing to my boss because I don't call him 3 times a day, and that I have a serious communication issue. Once he left, I started to tell my boss that he was full of crap, I call and email him all the time. My bosses reply? "I don't care about that." So I couldn't defend myself. It's just "lets take the looney customer's word over your loyal employee who's been here for 50-60 hours a week for THREE YEARS. Yeah. As soon as I was done with him, I went and updated my monster.com resume. JERK.
The meeting last night, too. There's a brother who gets up and gives service meeting parts, and makes a FOOL out of the meeting. I think he doesn't even know he does it. Like he asked a sister to read a scripture, and then asks her to "guess at which verse I'm thinking of". This isn't a game, you IDIOT. If you can't get that through your 4 inch THICK skull and peanut sized brain, you shouldn't really be up there. Whatever. It fits Franklin.
Actually, I'd be shocked if they did do something about it. I mean, this is the place that took them 10 years to pave the main road with foot-deep pot holes. The clencher? Thats the road the VDOT office is on. Heck, took them 4 years to pave my neighborhood from having 3 dirt roads and 3 semi-paved roads. And once they paved it, they have paved no less than once per year. To the point where it's a FOOT THICK in some places.
It's franklin. Franklin = Depression.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Store Opening Woes
Let me ask you a question. When you go up to a store, look at the hours, and see that the store is not open yet, what do you do?
Well, here's what our customers do. Look at the store hours. Try each one of the four doors to see if we are open. Look back at the store hours. Glance at watch. Try each door again. Peek through the doors. Get scowl on face. Walk to window, peek in. (At which point new employees hide. I don't. Let them see me. I've got work to do, and you ain't getting in. Yes, 3 years here will make you a customer cynic)
Sometimes, if your really desperate, you'll tap on the window. Does anyone do this to Food Lion, the drug store, or Dollar Tree? I never did. I'd feel like an idiot. If you tap on the window, my boss might let you in. I still won't.
The last person that just had to get in here an hour and a half before we opened needed something we didn't sell.
We actually had someone camp out in front of our store before a few weeks ago. He looked a little crazy. Stood out there for over an hour, just walking around in slow circles, waiting to open.
Lovely.
Well, here's what our customers do. Look at the store hours. Try each one of the four doors to see if we are open. Look back at the store hours. Glance at watch. Try each door again. Peek through the doors. Get scowl on face. Walk to window, peek in. (At which point new employees hide. I don't. Let them see me. I've got work to do, and you ain't getting in. Yes, 3 years here will make you a customer cynic)
Sometimes, if your really desperate, you'll tap on the window. Does anyone do this to Food Lion, the drug store, or Dollar Tree? I never did. I'd feel like an idiot. If you tap on the window, my boss might let you in. I still won't.
The last person that just had to get in here an hour and a half before we opened needed something we didn't sell.
We actually had someone camp out in front of our store before a few weeks ago. He looked a little crazy. Stood out there for over an hour, just walking around in slow circles, waiting to open.
Lovely.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
First Post
This is my first post. YAY! Why do I have a blog, you may ask yourself? None of your business could be one answer. Because I can post at work and get paid for it could be another. Because I love to write-yet another answer. All the above are true.
If you want to know about me, just ask.
Anyway, less than two weeks until my first full 45-minute talk!
The problem is I only have 22-minutes of it done. The rest of the sections seem straight-forward enough, so I hope to have it done by the weekend, so I can practice it in front of people. We shall see.
A good buddy of mine told me today he got into a fender bender. He said a bird pooped on his windshield, distracting him so he didn't see the lady turning in front of him. I know it's so wrong, but I find it so funny that a bird poop caused an accident. I'm glad he's okay though, thats the important thing. It's still funny.
Work's slow, thankfully. Especially since it's inventory time. Everything in the store gets to be counted. I say "gets" trying to convince myself that inventory, on some obscure plane of existence, could be fun. That maybe to a convict that had been sitting in solitary confinement, going through hundreds and hundreds of items, numbers, and dates, could somehow not be so tedious that I feel like taking each key out of my key board, loading each one individually into a gun, and shooting them through my computer monitor.
Another thing... I think I have discovered a conspiracy. Ok, I'll be at work all day. 5, 6 hours. Store will be dead other than the occasional phone call. Then, within 10 minutes, 6 customers at once, cell phone rings constantly, land lines ringing, emails, people IMing me, trucks at the back door, installers coming in with questions. 45 minutes later, dead again. I mean.... Watch Tower Farms? (If you don't understand the WatchTowerFarms joke, visit bethel. Or look at the initials. If you still don't get it, I'll bet you $100 I can guess your hair color without ever having seen you)
If you want to know about me, just ask.
Anyway, less than two weeks until my first full 45-minute talk!
The problem is I only have 22-minutes of it done. The rest of the sections seem straight-forward enough, so I hope to have it done by the weekend, so I can practice it in front of people. We shall see.
A good buddy of mine told me today he got into a fender bender. He said a bird pooped on his windshield, distracting him so he didn't see the lady turning in front of him. I know it's so wrong, but I find it so funny that a bird poop caused an accident. I'm glad he's okay though, thats the important thing. It's still funny.
Work's slow, thankfully. Especially since it's inventory time. Everything in the store gets to be counted. I say "gets" trying to convince myself that inventory, on some obscure plane of existence, could be fun. That maybe to a convict that had been sitting in solitary confinement, going through hundreds and hundreds of items, numbers, and dates, could somehow not be so tedious that I feel like taking each key out of my key board, loading each one individually into a gun, and shooting them through my computer monitor.
Another thing... I think I have discovered a conspiracy. Ok, I'll be at work all day. 5, 6 hours. Store will be dead other than the occasional phone call. Then, within 10 minutes, 6 customers at once, cell phone rings constantly, land lines ringing, emails, people IMing me, trucks at the back door, installers coming in with questions. 45 minutes later, dead again. I mean.... Watch Tower Farms? (If you don't understand the WatchTowerFarms joke, visit bethel. Or look at the initials. If you still don't get it, I'll bet you $100 I can guess your hair color without ever having seen you)
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